God Doesn't Want This
by fluffy2001
Summary: My version of the inveitable Chase breakdownangst. Chase treats an empath who can see through all his deep secrets. He is now forced to deal with the years of pain that has haunted him. House has a radical plan to help him. CamChase.
1. Althea

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except Althea. She's all mine. :) Any offensive comments made by Dr. House are my attempts to keep him in character and not my own opinions.**

"Don't pretend anymore." A soft voice whispered from an undisclosed location. Chase stood there in a hallway at the hospital alarmed, wondering what he had just heard. "Let go Robert." He once again couldn't figure where the sound was coming from, but he knew the voice. "Mum?" he replied to the voice. "God doesn't want this for you." The voice said.

Chase sprung up from his sleep, shaking profusely, sweating and completely terrified by the images. It took a minute, but after coming out of his hazy disorientation he realized it was another dream. He had been having many vivid interpretations lately and many sleepless nights.

He got up, walked to the bathroom sink and splashed a little water on his face. He looked in the mirror. It revealed a peaked persona, complete with dark circles under the eyes and utter exhaustion in its expression. What was happening to him?

Chase sleepily walked over to his sofa and sat down. He looked at the time. He needed to be at work in a couple of hours anyway. Maybe he can catch a wink or two on the couch before then. His mind couldn't relax though. So much had been happening lately. He was having a hard time coping. It all started with Foreman's illness. That scared the crap out of him. He never once let on what was happening, but on the inside he was barely holding it all together. Then it was time for vacation, but he thought working would be better. He didn't need the money. The sisters at the convent could make far better use out of the extra money. The idea sounded good; work through vacation in another department to get away from House for a little while but still continue to help people. Instead of fulfilling though, the NICU brought too much pain. It was so hard to see those so young suffer. Then the one baby died, and that just about killed him inside. Even if his death was unavoidable, it still hurt. Then House got shot right in front of him. Sure, House likely deserved it, but it was still something that wore on already frayed nerves.

Lucky for Chase, work wasn't very consuming at this moment. While House was out, it meant for a big slow down in cases while he recovered. The workday consisted of basic clinic hours and "boring" cases for once. He was glad, since his mind really couldn't take much else right now. He had to ask himself though, if work wasn't stressing him out, then why was he starting to all have these vivid dreams? Why couldn't he sleep? After an hour of this train of thought Chase decided to just give up and go to work early. It looked like another morning of an extra tall coffee was in order.

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Chase arrived at the hospital to find Cameron arriving at the same time. She looked at him as they walked in together. "Out late again? You look like hell." She said in a rather scolding tone.

"I couldn't sleep." he replied. "Why are you here so early?"

"I always come in early. You would never know since you never do."

Chase said nothing. He could tell that Cameron was in another one of her snarky moods. She didn't take House's shooting too well. She tried to mask her worry through bitchy comments, but deep down she was really petrified by what happened. She was also really bored by the slow down. She needed House's punishment on a daily basis. Not having that left a huge void in her life. "How in the world did he become so attracted to a masochist?" Chase asked himself.

"Dr. Chase, I know this is early, but can you see someone right now?" asked the clinic nurse who grabbed him as he walked by. "The patient seems to be in some pain and is a really nice lady. We are short-handed today."

"Sure, I can see her now," replied Chase.

He went into the exam room and saw an average sized African American woman, in her early fifties, flashing him a pleasant smile even though she was in obvious pain. Something about her seemed so different. She exuded calm and pleasantness. Chase felt instantly at ease with her.

"Good morning Ms. Stevens." Chase said as he looked at her chart.

"Althea." she said. "I never liked common pleasantries. I only have a last name so that the government and bill collectors can find me. You look like someone who can help me."

"How long have you been feeling pain in your side?" Chase asked.

"Easily a week, maybe 10 days. It only started getting unbearable yesterday."

"You waited this long?" Chase asked in an unbelieving manner.

"I don't like doctors. They make too much of a fuss. Too cautious. Anyway, I have a very high threshold for pain. If I have to see a doctor about pain, it is serious."

Chase started to examine her. She looked at him intently during the examination. "You need sleep. Are they working you too hard?"

"No," replied Chase. "I just had a rough night."

"You had more than one rough night. Several of them I would say. Still, there is something about you. I feel a conflict. You are strong in faith, but very vulnerable. That vulnerability is well masked."

Usually Chase was deterred by such straight-forward comments, but for whatever reason, he had a warm feeling that her intentions were good. He did wonder how she got all that info so quickly. He would suspect she had been talking with House if he wasn't out of action. "Lay down." he said. "I want to check your side."

Chase noticed something in her side. There was some type of mass. "I'm going to give you something for the pain, and then I'm admitting you."

"Don't tell me I'm going to have to go through the battery of painful and unnecessary tests." she replied.

"There will be tests, but no test is unnecessary." Chase said.

She put herself in front of him and looked hard for several seconds into his deep blue eyes. "Yes, I trust you. I can always tell from the eyes. Okay, go ahead, do what you must."

Chase left the room, slightly shaking his head at what just happened. He has dealt with so many interesting patients before, but this was the first person he had met where he sensed a person was looking deep inside of him. She was someone who was more than just a good observer like House. It was like she was transmitting feelings. "I'm imagining things." Chase told himself. "This lack of sleep is warping my reality."

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A couple hours later, Chase went to check in on newly admitted Althea. He walked into the room and saw that very same warm smile, soothing tone of voice, and comfortable posture that he had seen when he first examined her. Once again he got that strong at ease feeling.

"Dr. Chase, you are such a refreshing sight." she said in her calming voice.

"Althea, tomorrow we are going do a few tests. We are going to start with an MRI. Are you familiar with what that is?"

"I watch TV. Big long tube, makes you feel all claustrophobic, creates pretty pictures only you can read."

"Yes, it is something like that."

"I'm fine with it." she said while Chase worked on her chart.

"You are curious about me." she continued. "I'm an empath."

"Really? How long have you been one?" asked Chase very curious about such abilities.

"Since I was a young child," replied Althea. "It has taken a lifetime for me to control my gift. I have dealt so long with the needs and emotions of others that I have often neglected myself. I believe that is something you can relate to Robert."

"I thought you could sense feelings, not guess names." Chase replied.

Althea gave a slight laugh at that comment. "No, your name wasn't anything I sensed. It is on your hospital badge. I usually like to call people by their first names."

Chase smiled. "Do you pick up on emotions through touch? I noticed you were able to observe my feelings when I started examining you."

"Yes. Does it bother you if I mention you are an open book? Despite all those layers you have built around yourself, I can see through all of them to the core. You have a rather fascinating story. Too bad that whole story is only known by you and me."

Just then Cameron walked into the room. "You paged me?" she asked Chase.

"Yeah, I need a consult. This is Althea."

Cameron said "hello" and grabbed the chart. She noticed Althea looking at her rather intently. Althea then grabbed her hand. "Is something wrong?" Cameron asked.

"She's empathic." said Chase. "It is my guess she is trying to get a read on you."

Althea laughed. "Busted. Yes, I was trying to figure you out. You are a very tough one. There is a big wall there."

Cameron finished reading the chart and told Althea, "I'll need more time to review your history. I'll check back with you later." Then she left the room.

"Wow, she needs that wall." Althea said to Chase. "She has so much going on inside of her without any type of structure she would fall apart. She likes you though."

Chase smiled but was slightly blushing by the comment. "She treats me like dirt." Chase replied.

"She has to. It is that wall thing. I can tell you like her too."

"Alright, enough for now. You need to get some rest. I'll check on you later." Chase said.

"She really is pretty on the inside as well as outside. But I think you know that." Althea said loudly as Chase left the room.

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A couple days later, Chase ran into Cameron in the hall. "How is your empath doing?" Cameron asked.

"Her pain is a little better, but she is still very uncomfortable. The MRI showed a small mass on her right side, but it was harmless. It shouldn't be causing her any pain at all. I'm going to start her some new medicine right now."

"Sounds like the correct way to go. Have fun." Cameron said as she walked away.

Chase went into Althea's room and was once again greeted by that warm smile. "Hello Robert, come to try and fix me some more?"

"I have a new medicine for you. Before I give it to you, I would like to check your side."

Althea rolled on her left side so Chase could check the right. He checked her side and found nothing different. When Althea sat back up, she reached over and touched Chase's shoulder. Chase was overcome by a huge feeling of comfort and calm. He was very surprised that her simple touch caused such intense emotional soothing. He looked at her rather shocked by what was happening. Althea smiled at him. "Feel a little better?" she asked.

Chase nodded slowly, as he continued to look at her with surprise but enjoyed the feeling. "I knew you needed some emotional reassurance and I found the best place to deliver it. Your pain is deep, but not untouchable." said Althea as she looked deep into his eyes. She could tell this was the first feeling of calm he has had in a very long time. She pulled her hand away. "Okay, you can go back to what you were doing."

Chase shook himself out of the strange experience and got everything ready to start the new meds. As he was getting things together, Althea started asking questions. "So which parent was the one you had to look after? I have a feeling that was your mother."

"Yes, she died an alcoholic." Chase replied.

"So, all that hatred must be for your father."

"He's dead too." said Chase.

"Yes, but the hatred didn't die with him. You haven't made your peace."

Chase chose not to respond to her last comment. That confirmed the observation in Althea's mind. "You haven't made your peace with God either. Let go Robert. God doesn't want this for you."

Chase abruptly stopped what he was doing and his heart sank deep. He intently looked at her, frozen in his tracks, completely thrown back by what she had just said.

"Ooh," responded Althea, "I found a pinched nerve. Sometimes words come to me for unexplained reasons. Obviously someone has told you that before."

Chase replied, "I have been having a recurring dream. In that dream, my mother said those exact words."

"So that is why you haven't been sleeping. You are a doctor. You should know that once a nerve is pinched, it needs the pressure relieved."

Chase finished with the IV and knew he had to get out of there. She was hitting too close to home. "You need some rest," Chase told her. "I'll be back later to check on you."

"Yes, we both need a little rest I think. I suggest the same for you." she said with her usual smile.

------------------------------------------

Chase again passed Cameron in the hallway. "I'm going to see your patient and get some samples for lab work."

"Be careful," Chase said. "If she touches you, expect a very weird feeling. She does have an extraordinary ability with transmitting feelings."

"I'm curious to see what she will think of me." replied Cameron.

"She may do nothing. She did saw you had a wall there. She told me I was a much easier read."

"We get to see all types in here, don't we? Don't worry, I can hold my own."

Cameron walked into Althea's room and was greeted by a smile. She noticed it was a different smile than the one she gave Chase. It was more cautious and uncertain.

"I need to take some blood and tissue samples." Cameron told her.

"No problem dear. Go right ahead."

As Cameron touched her, Althea started to filter through the swirl inside of Cameron. She decided that Chase needed her help far more than Cameron, so she would push things along here. "You like Robert." Althea said.

"I respect him as a colleague." Cameron replied.

"No you don't. As a colleague you see yourself as a far better doctor. No, you like the mystery behind him. You also think he is cute."

Cameron smiled at Althea's observation. "I bet you think he is cute too. Just about every female here thinks he's cute, and a few of the guys too."

"It's different with you. You see beyond his good looks. You see someone who is deeply layered and would like to examine each layer. He won't let you get close though."

"He has never let anyone get close. His privacy means everything to him. He almost destroyed his career and many friendships to protect that privacy."

"He has breached his relationship with God too. You don't share his faith though. You are agnostic, but yet you are attracted to his spirituality. Isn't that strange for someone who questions God's existence?"

"I'm not attracted to his spirituality." Cameron said defensively.

"Yes, you are right, I'm incorrect. It isn't his spirituality. It is the purity that comes from his religious beliefs. You like that innocence."

Cameron didn't respond, but the look on her face proved that she couldn't deny it. "Okay, I have what I need. I'll let you know the results when they come back."

"Thank you dear." said Althea. As Cameron walked toward the door, Althea said, "You know, you could do much worse." Cameron slightly paused with a "she's unbelievable!" look on her face then kept going.


	2. Breakdown

"Robert, I don't have much time."

Chase froze at Althea's comment. Those words caused a small panic inside. "You are going to be fine." he said. "We will figure out what is wrong with you."

"Please listen to me now," Althea continued. "Nothing can prevent your feelings from surfacing now. They are busting out. If you don't make sense of them, they will consume you." Chase continued to stand there, expressionless and feeling overwhelmed by the words she was speaking. He had his head down and was avoiding eye contact so he could maintain control.

Althea grabbed his face and looked deeply into his eyes. "The life you chose for yourself is tearing you apart. It involves so much more than saving people. It involves being strong and dealing with pain. You have to fix your own pain before helping others deal with theirs. You need to save yourself Robert."

By this time he was feeling complete terror. Chase pulled away and replied, "You need to stop worrying about me." he said all flustered. "Please try to concentrate on yourself."

She pulled his face back and again looked in his eyes. "Keep your faith Robert. It is all you need to guide you through. God doesn't want this for you."

Chase wasn't feeling so much calm in her touch anymore. Something was indeed wrong.

He wasn't sure if it was her or him. "Please, get some sleep." he said backing toward the door. He had to get out of that room fast.

Chase rushed outside to get some air. He wasn't prepared to hear those exact words and wasn't sure why Althea was giving up. All the fatigue started to catch up with him. With each step he took further and further outside, the world started to spin and fall out from under him. Chase could feel his heart pounding out of his chest and everything got very blurry. He quickly sat down on a bench and realized he was in deep trouble.

Cameron was outside and noticed Chase hunched over on the bench. She raced over to him. "You really are sick, aren't you?"

"I'll be alright." he replied very weakly. "I just need a few minutes."

"Let's go inside. I can take a better look at you in there." Cameron replied.

Chase tried to stand up and got very dizzy. Cameron jumped in to help him sit back down. "I'll be right back." she said.

Cameron ran to the entrance and grabbed a wheelchair. She quickly came back to Chase and helped him into it. As she moved him inside she ran into Cuddy at the entrance. "What happened?" Cuddy asked.

"I found him outside. He is having some sort of attack."

"He looks like hell." Cuddy replied. "Come on, I'll help you get him into a room."

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Later, Cameron walked out of the hospital room where she just examined Chase. She had a slight expression of relief on her face as the problem was not too serious.

"How is he?" asked Cuddy who was waiting outside.

"Exhausted. He is suffering from extreme exhaustion. It turns out he hasn't been sleeping well in last few weeks and has been under a lot of stress. I gave him a sedative and ordered him to sleep for a while."

"With all the crap that has been going on lately, I'm surprised I'm sleeping at all. People are going to wonder what I have been doing to my doctors." Cuddy stopped herself, realizing it was time to stop ranting now. "Never mind. I'm glad you found him and were able to help."

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"Let go, Robert." The voice whispered again. "What?" Chase asked the voice. "God doesn't want this for you."

Chase angrily replied, "What does God want then? He certainly hasn't done much to guide me. Maybe God needs to live with the same disappointment I live with."

"What do you want Robert?" asked a voice, although it wasn't the same voice. Chase turned around to see the question coming from Althea.

Chase looked at her with intense sadness. "I don't know."

Just then, a series of beeps went off. Chase popped up, realizing he was having another dream. He was in the same hospital room he went to sleep in. It was dark outside, so he had been in there a while. He took about 10 seconds to get his wits back then grabbed his beeper from the table next to him. An intense look of alarm swept over his face as he read the message. "Oh no." he said and then quickly left the room.

Chase stormed into Althea's room just in time to find the night team performing all their activities after a pronouncement. In between the flurry of confusion was Althea's lifeless body. Chase was too stunned to speak. The doctor on duty came up to him and in a sympathetic voice said, "I'm sorry Dr. Chase. We did everything we could. She had a pulmonary embolism."

Chase nodded to acknowledge the other doctor's information, but he was still too overcome to speak. He stood there like a statue, gazing at Althea. What ever warmness and connection he felt was completely gone. All he sensed was a void of life. She knew this was going to happen. Why didn't he try to do more? He should have pulled himself together, or at least had someone else step in. Someone could have found the clot in time. He was overwhelmed by guilt and remorse.

As he stood there, trying to make sense of the barrage of emotion that continued to overwhelm him, a small tear started streaming down his face. He quickly wiped it away, as he couldn't let others see how emotionally wrought he was.

The breaking point had arrived. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He left the room, stormed out of the hospital, and went straight home. At this point, he didn't care if he ever saw Princeton Plainsboro again.

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Two days later, Cuddy visited a recovering House at his home. "Unless you can cook as good as Wilson, you don't need to be here. I'm not strong enough for sex. You know, doctor's orders." House told Cuddy with a look condemning his overprotective doctor.

"Come on, you are probably bored out of your mind. How many wrestling matches and soap operas can you endure in one day? You secretly want to thank me for breaking the lull in your day. Anyway, I came to talk to you about a delicate situation with your team."

"My team? What have you done? Did you forget to feed them while I'm gone? You have to be the worst pet sitter I have ever hired."

"It isn't your team but a member of your team. Chase has gone missing. Two days ago he collapsed from exhaustion because he wasn't sleeping and later left the hospital very upset. Now he won't return calls."

"Getting me involved is going to accomplish what? Last I remember communicating with the ducklings through mental telepathy wasn't going well."

"Oh, I don't know, you are his boss and might understand what is happening here? You seem to know everything that is going on even when you aren't there."

"What made him leave?" House asked curiously. "It is not like him to abandon patients."

"According to the doctor on call that evening, he paged Chase after one of his patients died. Chase didn't take it very well. Cameron said those two got pretty close. The patient claimed to be an empath."

"And you didn't call me! I would have blown apart her reality. I am missing out on all the fun. Anyway, I can see why they would be close. Chase is an open book. A very boring book, but open. She probably blew his mind. It's like the Jedi mind trick, only works on the weak-minded…" House stopped because he could tell Cuddy wasn't amused.

"Send Cameron." he continued. "She will get him to open the door. She also knows how to get through to him. Tell her to get over her personal issues with Chase and treat this like one of her moral causes. Now leave me alone. Girls Gone Wild is coming on and I so look forward to these moments alone."

Cuddy flashed House with her usual "give me a break" smirk and left.


	3. A Stunning Admission

Cameron avoided this trip for one reason. She didn't think it would do any good. Chase always had been so distant and never opened up. Even when he revealed his feelings to her, she still had a hard time knowing who the real Robert Chase was. He had a layer underneath that no one could reach. Maybe that is why he had gone into hiding. Althea probably got to that layer. All these thoughts were running through her mind as she got closer to Chase's apartment.

Cameron first knocked and got no response. She then opened the door with the key they kept for emergencies. After Foreman's illness the team decided to keep a key to each other's place in case a search was needed.

She found Chase sitting on the couch, looking haggard and in another world. He was in a deeply depressed state and didn't say anything to Cameron.

"Chase?" She asked with deep concern. He didn't respond. She walked over to him and looked him in the eye. "Robert?"

He looked at her and said, "I need sometime to myself."

"You shouldn't be alone. You are near catatonic."

"I'm not that bad."

"You didn't hear me come in." she said.

"I heard. I just ignored you." he replied knowing he was lying.

"We need to get you back to the hospital. Something has gone wrong inside of you."

"I'm fine." he replied in a weary voice.

"You are not fine. You need a therapist. You need professional help."

"It won't work. I am failing here just like did before. No one can help."

"You have to open up someone. You have kept yourself isolated since I have known you. I suspect you have had issues like this before."

Chase nodded with an utterly despondent expression and tears welled up in his eyes. "I don't know where to get help, but I know it won't be from a therapist. I have never met one with a good success rate."

"How about the church?" Cameron asked.

"We have been here before. The results weren't very pretty last time."

"You are going to have to trust someone."

"I trust you." Chase said, looking at her with very tired eyes.

Cameron was shocked to hear that statement from Chase. Does he really want to open up to her, or is he playing games? She was not prepared to hear his list of anxieties, scandals, fears or whatever could be bothering him, but he was extremely vulnerable right now and she wasn't sure who else could help him.

"Chase," she said, "I don't think I'm the best person to help you."

He looked at her knowing she wouldn't go for the idea. "Then I will work it out myself." he said with a resigned voice. "Please go now." he pleaded.

Cameron looked at him with pleading eyes hoping he would do the right thing and come with her back to the hospital. When she saw the look in his eyes was 'no' she said, "Okay, I'll leave for now but I'm coming back. You can't go through this alone."

Chase stared at her again with his hopeless glare and said nothing. He knew she wasn't going to change her mind, but he wasn't going to accept her resolve either.

"Take care of yourself and please get some sleep." She walked out slowly gazing at Chase as he sat unresponsive on the couch. She opened the apartment door and left. Chase continued to sit on the couch as tears started streaming down his face.

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Cameron arrived at the hospital visibly upset. What has she done? She left poor Chase alone at a time where he could actually hurt himself. No one else can help him right now. Why did she leave him alone?

As Cameron got in the elevator, so did Wilson. "What is wrong?" he asked with deep concern.

"Chase is not good. I left him alone anyway."

"He is a big boy. I'm sure he will work it out." replied Wilson.

"This isn't like normal. He is really down. He won't talk with anyone. I have seen people that emotionally low before. They were on suicide watch."

"Then, I think it is time for a team consult." Wilson said.

"But how? We don't have a team right now."

"Getting hold of House is my job. You get Foreman. I'll be there too."

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Later, in the conference room, Wilson delivered by putting House on the speaker phone. ''Sure," said House, "don't respect my healing time. Involve me in trivial cases just to torture me."

"This is hardly trivial." Cameron said.

"Emotional breakdowns are as boring as they get. It's not my problem the he won't take medical advice." an unimpressed House replied.

"House," Wilson replied seriously. "Cameron thinks he might be suicidal."

The line grew quiet. "It has gone that far again, huh?

"Again?" exclaimed Cameron, "This has happened before?"

"When I first met Chase I could tell he had some baggage. The deep hurtful look in his eyes, the avoidance of personal questions, anger toward his dad who got him the interview and I knew from looking at him he had never been involved in a close relationship. He had all the signs that he came from a home of an alcoholic. When I found out he dropped out of the seminary to become a doctor I did some snooping."

"Where are you going with this House?" Foreman asked.

"Come on, don't you see the pattern? Children of alcoholics usually suffer from depression and isolation, which can result in thoughts of suicide."

"That's all you've got?" asked Cameron.

"No. I got hold of his old medical records. He was on anti-depressants until he went into the seminary. What is the greatest sin a Catholic could possibly commit?"

"Suicide." said Wilson. "You have to admit, it fits."

"Catholics will tolerate drug use, pregnant nuns, and priests getting busy with alter boys, but not suicide. No wonder he is so screwed up."

"Do you have proof of this?" asked Cameron. "Did Chase actually admit this? Did the seminary say anything?"

"No, but I'm never wrong about these things." replied House.

Cameron and Foreman both exclaimed disbelief.

"Look," said House, "are you going to argue with me or are you going to help the patient?"

"Doctor." said Cameron

"Whatever." replied House. "Cameron, get an ambulance right now and go get Chase. If anyone can find a way to get him to go willingly, you can. If you can't, force and trickery are okay too. Once he arrives get him in a private room and invent some physical problem."

"That way we can do suicide watch without involving the nuthouse." said Foreman.

"I'm glad somebody gets it. Now go!" said House.

As Cameron and Foreman left the room, House and Wilson were left to chat. "Was that you caring there Dr. House?" mocked Wilson.

"Just wait until you finally crack up." said House. "You better hope Cuddy is paying attention. Besides, this might finally be my opportunity to solve one of my biggest unsolved mysteries."

"Goodbye, Dr. House." Wilson said as he hung up the phone in absolute delight. If only, that ability to cut him off worked when House was here.

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Chase was strapped to the gurney as he was wheeled into the ER by the paramedics. "This isn't right." he said. "I'm not sick."

Cameron was behind him. "In here.'' she said and quickly showed them to a room. The ER nurse stopped Cameron after the others entered the room.

"Is that Dr. Chase?" she asked.

"Yes." said Cameron hoping to get rid of her quickly. "He has high fever and hallucinations. Keep this quiet as we don't want patients to notice sick doctors."

"Yes, of course." the nurse replied.

"Thanks." said Cameron.

Cameron went into the room and told the paramedics, "Thanks, I can handle it from here." They left Cameron and Chase alone.

"You don't need to do this." Chase said. "I will be fine."

"Quiet!" Cameron said. "I'm admitting you."

"Why?"

"House thinks you are better off here."

"Tell him it is none of his damn business." Chase angrily responded.

"I agree with him, otherwise I wouldn't have went along with the plan. We are putting you in a private room and you won't see any visitors."

"I'm a prisoner?" Chase asked incredulously.

Cameron decided she needed to try a different approach. ''Robert" she said seriously and grabbed his hand, "We are very worried. We aren't stupid and can see warning signs. House seems to think you have tried suicide before and might again."

"He's wrong. I am not suicidal." Chase said in a pleading tone.

"Now or ever?" Cameron asked.

Chase avoided eye contact and didn't answer the question.

"You did try to kill yourself once!" Cameron said in a high voice. "When?"

Chase was reluctant, but couldn't avoid the question. "At the seminary, I was 19."

"Didn't they try to help? You left shortly after that, didn't you?"

"Why should they have tried? How does it look to respond to a faith vs. fear test by attempting suicide? I would say I failed that one. I think all parties involved agreed I wasn't cut out for that job."

"How did it happen?" Cameron asked now with prodding curiosity.

"It doesn't matter. It just did."

"I'm no psychologist but I know enough that you need to talk about this. You can talk to me if you can't open up to anyone else."

"I'm not ready to talk." Chase said stubbornly.

"Then you stay here until you do." Cameron said showing her stubborn side as well.

Chase sighed and decided he should just sit there quietly for a while.

"Okay." said Cameron. "We will get you to your room."

Just then she got a page. "I'm waiting. H." She had an orderly take Chase to his room, went to House's office and called him.

"Well?" House asked impatiently waiting for her to speak.

"You were right. He tried suicide at the seminary. He won't talk about it though." Cameron replied.

"Don't worry. I have ways of making people talk." he said as he gave a ghoulish laugh. Cameron hung up on him. "That felt really good" she thought.


	4. Time for action

Cameron abruptly woke up from her brief nap. She was doing paperwork and put her head down after the very long day. She awoke to find herself in Chase's room, where she had settled down for the night to finish paperwork while keeping an eye on him. She looked up to see Chase still sleeping. He'd better be; she had him heavily sedated enough so he would catch up on all that deprived sleep. He looked so peaceful like a sweet innocent little child. She was enjoying watching him sleep. This is the first full night sleep he has had in weeks and from the outside it looked like it was doing wonders.

Cameron admitted Chase to a very private room under a false name and granted access to approved staff only. It was a practice not uncommon to the hospital for high profile patients who needed anonymity. Cuddy was off for the next two days so the team had very little time to work, but at least they had some time.

After few hours later Chase started to wake. He opened his eyes to see Cameron working. "Why am I here?" he asked still feeling groggy.

"Your options are to deal with us or we get you a nice rubber room up in the psych ward." replied Cameron.

"All I needed was some sleep. I feel much better." replied Chase.

"I'm sure you did. Once you start answering all our questions, then we all will feel much better."

"Cuddy will figure out what you and House are up to. People saw me come in through the ER last night. You know I won't be able to stay here long."

"Cuddy is out for the next few days, and House usually knows how to manipulate her to get his way. As for the ER, I officially discharged you last night. You have a bad virus that we can monitor from your home. You have been ordered to stay away from work for two weeks. That should be all it takes to explain your absence. You are in here under a fake name with a fake illness and have been given VIP privacy status."

"I don't know what you want from me." Chase said desperately.

"Chase, we only want to help." Cameron walked over to him and sat down beside him in the bed. "Something isn't right with you and as a team we look out for each other. We all thought it was better to give you time to deal with this privately because we know it is important to you. You have been forced to rely on yourself since you were a teenager. Eventually, we all need help from others."

"Are you better at giving advice than taking it Allison?" Chase said in a biting tone.

"Now I know why I never liked my psych rotation." Cameron said as she went back to her paperwork. "Just let me know when you are ready to talk." They sat there for a while in silence.

Chase watched her work. He began to smile a little. "You know, you can be a cute when you are this feisty."

Cameron smiled back. "I guess the sleep did do you well. You are showing a sense of humor for once."

"Come over here and let's at least have a normal conversation." said Chase. "You can fill me in on all the latest hospital gossip."

"Okay, I need a break anyway." Cameron said and walked back over to him.

---------------------------------------------------------

Later that morning Foreman arrived for his turn. He found Cameron and Chase talking and laughing. "Wow, what did I miss?" Foreman said. "Wilson and House practical jokes on each other." said Cameron. "Chase gets to hear everything about those two. He was catching me up."

"Is it your turn to baby-sit?" Chase asked Foreman cheekily. He and Cameron then both started laughing at that comment.

"I'm here for my neurological consult." Foreman said as he sat down, opened up the paper, kicked up his feet on the desk and started reading.

"I'm sorry Foreman," said Cameron as she tried to stop laughing. "I'm a little slap happy right now due to lack of sleep. Tag, you're it. Chase, I will check in on you later."

"Look, both of you," said Chase, "if it means you two can get back to doing real work, I'll try to answer your questions."

"Okay," said Cameron, "but be prepared. We have all day. Our case load has been nil for a while."

Chase got slightly frightened, but decided to cooperate anyway. "Okay, let's see what happens." he said.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The team assembled again in the conference room. "House," Cameron said into the speaker phone, "Chase did talk with us, but he is still holding back so many things and avoiding some questions. The day was productive, but not near where we need to be. We had to stop after a while because we were exhausting him. He had moments where he couldn't concentrate."

"So what do we know?" House asked.

"He started having dreams about his mother right around the time you were shot. He hadn't slept well in weeks when he met Althea, the patient who was an empath. She sensed he was having some emotional issues and tried some empathic healing techniques. Just before his panic attack, they had a conversation where she indicated she was near the end and wouldn't stop pleading with him to deal with some things. He feels sad about not being there when she died because he was sleeping after the panic attack."

"That's all he would reveal? Did he talk about anything in his past, like his suicide attempt or what happened with his mother?"

"He won't talk about that." said Cameron. "We figured out his suicide attempt happened in the same year his mother died while he was in the seminary, but we don't know if it is before or after. He said when was not important."

"You accepted those answers?" asked House.

"Standard psychotherapy procedures require us to not rush the patient. This isn't a physical issue, it is psychological. To deviate from those standards would require and actual psychologist with training."

"We can't do that. You know the code, what happens with the team…you get my drift. Anyway, this isn't a standard situation. We have no time. From what very limited information you have given me, I have this figured out. His case is too easy. The shooting triggered some sort of trauma just because of its shocking nature. He didn't see it coming much like a shocking event in his past. The empath felt the feelings starting to surface and called him out on it. Her death triggered the same guilt complex that he has carried all these years over his mother. How much do you want to bet he is hiding a traumatic event related to his mother?"

"House if we are talking about a traumatic event or shock, it could take months of inpatient therapy to address that." said Wilson.

"Right," agreed House, "we need something quicker. Cuddy is back the day after tomorrow and I need my doctor back."

"Whoa," said Foreman, "rushing anything that deep emotionally could cause a worse trauma to his cognitive abilities. His brain could lock the world out. We had trouble today with simple questions."

"I know what could happen. Let's focus on what likely will happen."

"Uh," Cameron replied, "we force him to deal with a trauma he can't deal with and he goes into cognitive disassociation?"

"Look, it fits. 50 bucks he likely tried suicide after his mother died and not before. He is a powder keg waiting to explode. This has gone on too long. We need something radical."

"What are you suggesting?" Cameron asked very skeptically.

"EMDR."

"Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing?" replied Foreman with disbelief. "That method is popular with highly traumatized war veterans with extreme Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It also involves an 8 phase approach, not to mention detailed planning and intense cooperation from the patient."

"Yes, it would have to be performed in a modified form. We would rush a few phases and then go on straight to the stimulation part. Intense anxiety from single trauma can be almost completely relieved in six hours."

"Yes, but wasn't that was intended to be six hours over multiple sessions?" asked Wilson.

"Well, we only have one day." replied House.

"Come on House, this is insane. We don't know for sure that this is a post traumatic stress problem. This is Chase we are talking about, not some lab rat. Also, doing that much therapy to him in such a short period of time could be dangerous both mentally and physically." Foreman argued.

"It is traumatic stress. All the symptoms are there. Anyway, we will know because he is going to tell us what happened. He has to come clean in order for this to work." said House.

"He won't talk to us. The risks are too great." replied Cameron. "He is better off staying a few months in psych."

"If that happens, his career is over." House pleaded.

Cameron, Foreman, and Wilson couldn't argue with that comment. They looked at each other with resignation knowing he was right.

"I'll talk with him." said House. I know something that will get him to talk."

"Who is going to do this therapy?" said Foreman. "I don't know of any experts in this hospital."

"I am. Simple eye movement stuff. I'll need help from all of you though because we are going to have to constantly calm our patient down." replied House. "Wilson, get over here right now. I have a young doctor to visit."

Wilson threw a skeptical glance at Cameron and Foreman and then left the room.

"We need to talk to Chase first, before House gets to him. Hopefully we can get through to him first." Cameron said to Foreman.

"We better go now." replied Foreman and they raced out of the room.


	5. The past revealed

"Chase, we have a situation." Cameron said as she and Foreman entered his hospital room.

"What is it?" he replied with a tired voice and a glazed look in his eyes.

"Please, pull it together and listen to me." She grabbed his face and looked him straight in the eye. "We need you to work with us. House has something planned that if it works you will able to go back to your daily life in a short time. You have to give us your full cooperation. I know your privacy has meant everything, but it isn't worth it Chase. We are here for you and will help you through this."

"What is it I have to do?" Chase asked.

"You are going to have to tell us everything, no matter how painful it is. We need to know all that has happened to you so we can help you properly, and we need to know it now." Cameron said.

Chase looked at her and got very worried. "I can't help you. I dealt with this my entire life and I need to handle with it my way."

"But you haven't been handling it, and it is now consuming you. Chase, we are the closest thing you have to a family. We are here for you and won't let anything bad happen to you."

Chase started to shake and said with a crack in his voice, "Please, don't make me do this. I'm pleading with you."

"Chase," Cameron pleaded, "House is on his way. This is your last chance to tell us what happened without being forced through House's tactics."

Chase looked at her with those deep blue eyes loaded with panic and fear. He peered deeply into her eyes and knew he had to trust her. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Can you tell us what happened at the seminary?" Cameron asked.

Chase took a breath and said "Okay, but there really isn't much to tell." He started recalling the events.

"My mother had died unexpectedly. I was already experiencing some worry over leaving her alone, but I had no choice. I had an opportunity to serve God and I had to get on with my life. Her death came as a real shock to me and I didn't take it well. I was completely devastated.

The sisters were supportive in my time of grief but the answer was to go into solitude and pray. 'Give your worries to God.' they told me. 'His grace will heal your sorrow.'

After a few weeks, I found the prayer wasn't working. The longer I prayed the more torment I felt. God wasn't offering the solace. I felt like God had abandoned me, just like everyone else in my life."

At this point, Chase was uncomfortable talking, but that discomfort was more from embarrassment than upset. Cameron and Foreman allowed him to continue, but they knew Chase was avoiding painful details.

"The pain was too great. I had a weak moment and decided I couldn't go on alone anymore. 'St. Peter, please forgive me.' I prayed. Then, I hung myself in my room. It was a complete act of desperation.

While I was facing the end, I started to realize the huge mistake I was making. It didn't feel right. It wasn't part of the plan. Then, two nuns came in and saw me there. They rushed over and as they grabbed me, everything went dark.

Later I awoke in my bed to find an entire team of nuns praying by the bedside. After a few days of being constantly watched and being asked to pray with the sisters, I was sent to see Father Timothy. A visit with him usually meant he wanted to talk about a "unique circumstance". There were always special problems, but this one was usually the worst. Suicide is a big no-no for someone wanting to be an ordained priest. It didn't matter though because I had decided to leave. My faith wasn't strong enough and I knew this was not meant for me. Father Timothy didn't even argue. He just asked, "So what will you do?" I told him I didn't know and left having no clue what to do next."

Chase paused and then remembered his recent dream with Althea asking him the same question. One secret is that he still didn't know.

"What is it, Chase?" Cameron asked as he was lost in thought.

"It's nothing. Just a stray thought that went nowhere."

Cameron and Foreman looked at each other with sadness. They had no reason to doubt the story, but they didn't get what they needed to help him.

"That's a nice story, but that isn't the traumatic event we are looking for." They turned to see House slowly walking into the room, accompanied by Wilson. "We don't have much time and I'm not very good with pity. I leave that up to Cameron. I'm here to fix you no matter what."

Chase didn't look at House and was silent. "Good," House said, "you're starting to behave. We are in for a long night, so just relax. Have you heard of EMDR?"

"I don't have post traumatic stress." replied Chase. "How is that going to help me?"

"Yes, you do fair dinkum, or at least you some form of it. Cameron and Foreman have risked their careers to help your sorry ass. The least you can do is play along."

"I'm not sure what you need from me. I can barely concentrate right now."

"You don't need an alert mind for this. You sit there and tell us what we want to hear." He pulled up a chair and sat down next to Chase.

"First question, were you there when your mother committed suicide?"

Chase's eyes got real wide by the question. "She died of heart failure due to years of alcoholism."

"No, that is what your father had the autopsy say so she could be buried a good Catholic."

"That's not true!" Chase vehemently denied.

"Funny, that isn't what Rowan Chase said. He knew he was dying and that this would eventually come back to haunt you. After all, it happened before. He needed someone else to know and Wilson just happened to be there."

Chase looked at Wilson, who confirmed House's story with a solemn gaze. "This isn't just your secret anymore Chase." House said firmly. "We know the simple facts, but only you can fill in the details. Tell us what happened, and we will help you."

Chase started to sob uncontrollably. Cameron held his hand to comfort him. He then nodded in between sobs, thus indicating he would cooperate. After a few minutes, he gained his composure and started talking.

"While I was in the seminary, my mother sent letters daily. Some were simple, asking how I was doing. Others cursed at me and told me I was a terrible son for leaving her behind. A few letters she would say how much she hated me and wished me dead. Then the next day she would apologize and tell me how proud she was. She said the same things every day I lived with her since I was 15."

"That is when your dad left." said House.

Chase nodded as he took a moment to let out another cry. He eventually gained some self-control and went on. "After a while of this, I decided it was time to put an end to it. It wasn't doing either of us any good. I went to see her."

_"Robert, I'm so pleased to see you are here." the woman said with a huge smile. The smile was on a withered pale face that was part of a shaky deteriorating frame. Her graying brown hair was matted and unkept as though a brush hadn't seen it in months. _

_"Mum," Chase said to the shrunken woman, "we need to have a talk."_

_"What is it Robert? Is something wrong?" _

_They walked into the great room and sat down on the couch. Chase grabbed her frail hand and looked at her with complete seriousness. "I know you aren't well, but you need to let me get on with my life. I can't keep getting these letters from you. You have to let go."_

_"I see," she replied, "it sounds like you want to leave me alone just like your father did." _

_"Mum, you know I will be here for you. I just can't be here all the time. I have to move on. Please, I'm begging you. I cannot take care of you forever. I need to live my own life." _

_"I see." she replied trying to be calm, but her accelerated breathing indicated she was starting to get upset. "Those religious freaks at the seminary are poisoning your mind. They are turning you against me." _

_Chase got very frustrated. He did something he had never done with his mother before. He let go of her hand and stood up. "Don't do this!" Chase said in a louder and confrontational tone. "You aren't being fair." _

_"Fair?" his mother started yelling. "Don't talk to me about fair! All did was be a devoted wife and mother and in the end I'm thrown out like garbage." _

_Then she went into an all out tantrum. She stood up and started flailing her arms and legs wildly and shouted in a high pitched scream, "You have ruined my life you ungrateful bastard! I wish you had never been born!"_

_Chase always avoided confrontation with his mum because he knew this is what would happen. It happened every time his dad fought with her. The high pitched scream always gave him chills. "You are right mum." Chase said in a calming but shaky voice. _

_She looked into her son's beautiful natural blue eyes. She saw the tears starting to well up in them. She put her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I just got a little upset. I don't mean it. I have to go to the bathroom. When I come back we can talk some more. I won't yell. I promise."_

_Chase nodded, then she walked away flashing a comforting smile as though nothing was wrong. He took the time to calm himself while waiting for his mum. Confronting her was not the right thing to do. He didn't know what else to do. He had to move on with his life, but his mum was not well enough to take care of herself anymore. _

_While he was pondering the options a loud terrifying "BANG!" came from the bathroom. Chase jumped up from the shocking noise and absolute terror swept over him. While he had never personally heard a gun go off before, he knew by that sound what had just happened. _

_He raced into the bathroom to find his mother lying on the floor. She was still alive but gasping for breath. Blood was pouring out of the hole in her abdomen created by the bullet. She still clutched onto the gun with her right hand. _

_Chase raced into the main room and called an ambulance. Then he came back to the bathroom and picked his mother in his arms as she continued to drift in and out. _

_"Robert," she said. "I don't have much time."_

_"Don't talk like that. The ambulance is coming." he reassuringly told her._

_"The life you chose for yourself is tearing you apart. It involves so much more than saving people. It involves being strong and dealing with pain. You have to fix your own pain before helping others deal with theirs. You need to save yourself Robert." _

_"Please hold on. I will ever leave you again." he replied with a very shaky voice while stroking his mother's matted hair. _

_"No, you can't, can you? I need to do what is best for you so you don't live the same misery I did." _

_She picked up her right arm and pointed the gun at her son's chest. He couldn't move. He could have easily overpowered her, but he was too frozen by fear. If his mother wanted him to die, then he should die. He looked at the gun for several terrifying seconds waiting for her to pull the trigger._

_"No, I can't." she said as she pulled the gun away. "Let go Robert. God doesn't want this for you." Then she slipped away. _

_Chase held onto his mother's lifeless body stunned by what had transpired. Tears started streaming down his face as his mind starting racing so fast he couldn't process what was happening. When the ambulance arrived, they found Chase still holding his mother in the bathroom in too much shock to speak or move._

Cameron gasped in horror as Chase finished his story. She was too stunned to talk, so she grabbed Chase's shoulder to show her support. A tear ran down her cheek.

Foreman and Wilson both looked down with sullen expressions. They were both heartbroken for their colleague. Foreman especially was stunned, for he always figured Chase to be a privileged rich kid. He had no idea Chase was carrying such a burden.

Even House was slightly touched by his story. He quietly gave everyone a minute to compose themselves. ''I'm sorry Chase," he said without his usual arrogance to show respect for the moment, "but that for all clinical purposes would be classified as a traumatic event."

Chase nodded and then broke out into full fledged weeping. Cameron hugged him and he grabbed onto her, crying harder than he ever had before. House motioned Wilson and Foreman towards the door. Chase needed some time and Cameron had this under control.


	6. A Risky Procedure, Part 1

Wilson entered the conference room first to make sure that the blinds were drawn so their little meeting could go on undetected. Foreman and House followed behind him and plopped themselves down into the chairs next to the table. All were a little mind-boggled by what they had just witnessed.

"Foreman," House said as he pointed to the coffee machine.

"Are you even allowed coffee yet?" Foreman asked as he got up to make a pot.

"I'm not here remember, so how can I be drinking it?" replied House. "Where's Cameron?

"I ordered her to get some sleep for a few hours. She was a bigger wreck than Chase." answered Wilson. "I also gave him tryphtophan to calm him down."

"Not too much I hope," said House. "We will need him alert later."

"You mean you are actually still thinking of going through with it?" Foreman asked incredulously. "I was a little uncomfortable with the idea before, but now I think it is just plain wrong. The patient is a mess."

"Chase is a mess, not the patient." said House. "I know you don't want to personalize this since you have never liked him, but this is not our typical case."

"You are losing focus because you are personalizing it." Foreman countered.

"I know what I'm doing. I'll admit that the trauma and intense emotional response to it was far greater than I thought." replied House.

"You think?" asked Foreman sarcastically. "EMDR is still considered highly controversial and experimental. Many mental health professionals see it as a sham. It isn't even accepted by the American Psychological Association."

"I don't accept the American Psychological Association." replied House. "EMDR is usually dismissed because those so called professionals don't see any logical reason as to why it works. I can't explain why, but it works. There are studies out there proving its effectiveness."

"From my understanding, the emotional toll of this method is huge. It requires some form of emotional stability in the patient. From what we just saw, that is far from the case here." added Wilson.

"I'm certain I can still work with this." House replied. "I just need a few hours to do some case research."

Wilson and Foreman both looked at him with a 'you can't be serious' look on their faces.

"Look, we tried. He needs more time and some traditional therapy." argued Foreman. "He has obviously kept that to himself since it happened. The terror alone must be worse than actually being shot."

"Uh, no, speaking from experience here!" replied House. "I suppose we now know why the shooting triggered his nightmares. That fact alone gives us quite a bit to work with."

"So you still want to do this?" asked Foreman. "I know you are reckless, but we are dealing with a real human being here."

"You wanted me to be reckless when you were sick."

"I was dying."

"So is Chase!" House shouted as he slammed his fist on the table. He took a second to pause and continued. "Death isn't just the physical end. If your mind is gone, you might as well be dead."

Wilson and Foreman took a moment to glumly recognize that once again House was correct.

"Okay?" asked House.

Wilson and Foreman both gave their agreement to proceed. "So what do you need us to do?" Foreman asked.

"Get me a laptop and then go rest. I need a few hours to modify my plan. I will page you all when I'm ready."

-------------------------------------------

"Chase, wake up." the voice said.

His eyes slowly opened, but he was weary and inattentive. A light flashed into his eyes and he could see House's eyes peering into his.

"How much tryptophan did you give him?" House asked Wilson.

"A very low dose. He should be alert by now." Wilson replied.

"We will give him a few more minutes while we are waiting for Cameron and Foreman. It he isn't alert by then, I have something that will fix that."

Cameron and Foreman arrived ten minutes later to see Chase sitting alertly with his eyes wide open. "What did you give him?" Cameron asked.

"Methylphenidate." replied House.

"Ritalin?" asked Cameron, amazed. "I wasn't aware that drugs were going to be involved."

"Wilson started it. Anyway, how else are we going to create a stable emotional state? Now that the gang's all here, let's get started."

Everyone moved into place while House started giving all the instructions needed to start the session. "Cameron, you need to watch the heart rate and vitals. We stop for a break if those look outside of normal parameters."

"Heart rate already looks a little high." she replied.

"Well duh, he's stressed." House said mockingly.

"Foreman, check for any abnormal neurological symptoms. I'm going to need all of you to assess emotional responses. Wilson, watch me. I'm still injured here and might pass out." Everyone looked at him with a 'what the hell are you doing?' glare. "It's a joke!" he replied in response to their gazes.

"Chase, I'm going to start with eye movement exercises. First, you need to focus on the most vivid visual image of your mother's death. While doing that follow my finger with your eyes. We will do this in 30 second intervals. You ready?"

Chase took a deep breath and started remembering the terrifying scene of his Mother pointing a gun at him while she was dying. He then followed House's finger for 30 seconds. Cameron, Foreman and Wilson watched for any warning signs. The one they noticed was that tears started welling up in his eyes and his breathing got heavier.

"Good," said House after 30 seconds, "clear your mind."

Chase tried, but was clearly having trouble. "What are you thinking about?" House asked.

"Why did she want me dead?" he replied. A few tears started to run out of his eyes and he held his head in his hand to pull himself together.

The team gathered for a conference. "What did you see?" asked House.

"He was really freaked out." Cameron said.

"That's a start." replied House. "We are in for a very long day."

House repeated the process again several times over the next hour and a half. Each time ended with Chase showing signs of greater physical and emotional distress. He had a particularly rough time after the latest attempt and ended the process early.

"Chase, take a break." Cameron told him after the failed try. "I'll get you some water." He couldn't respond to her. She noticed from the heart monitor that his heart was beating fast. Then she saw his hand tremor when she tried to give him the cup of water. "I think something is wrong." Cameron said. Before she could check him, Chase passed out.

Foreman came over to help. "He seems physically okay. He probably had an anxiety attack." he observed.

After two minutes, Chase came back around. "How are you feeling?" Cameron asked him.

"Overwhelmed." he replied wearily.

"Okay, we'll break for an hour." said House.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later House arrived back in the room. Cameron was there taking care of Chase. "How is he?" House asked.

"He's calmer, but his heart rate and stress level is still elevated. He says he is ready to go on though."

House nodded and sat down next to the bed. "Okay Chase, let's try again. If you need to stop, just raise your hand." Chase nodded and they started again.

After doing several more exercises for another hour, House took some time to consult with the team.

"His reaction to the negative images and thoughts seem to be improved." said House.

"Yes, but he is still clearly distressed. We have made progress, but it doesn't seem we are close to moving onto the next step." replied Cameron.

Just then Foreman noticed something unusual and walked over to Chase. "House, we have a problem."

Everyone looked over to find Chase's eyes wouldn't stop blinking and his left cheek was twitching. They all looked at each other with concern, wondering why this was happening. Chase looked very scared, but said nothing hoping his colleagues would come up with the answer.

House started talking. "I suspect the facial tics are a temporary side effect to the combination of stress and methylphenidate. That should be worn off at worse a couple of hours."

"A new problem is a good sign that something is working." Chase said.

"Look at that," said House, "even while mentally distressed he tries to be a kiss-ass."

House walked over to the corner of the room, sat down in the chair, and put his legs up on the table. "We can't continue until the tics go away. They could get worse or become permanent. Foreman, start him on a very low dose of an anti-depressant. Just enough to take the edge off. That will address the stress. I need a break anyway." House then leaned back and closed his eyes to take a nap.

-----------------------------------------

"Don't pretend anymore, Robert." Chase realized this time the voice was different. He turned around to see Althea, all dressed in white. He wasn't scared at all to see her. She reached out and grabbed his hand. He felt the same intense calm he had experienced when she touched him before. Then she let go, smiled and walked away. "Althea!" he called out.

Chase abruptly woke up. "House," said Cameron. "He's awake."

House got up from the corner chair and walked over. "Chase, we noticed the tics stopped while you were sleeping. It looks like they are still gone now that you are awake. Dr. Foreman, you concur?"

"Yeah, he seems okay, but I know my recommendation of waiting a few hours to be sure will be rejected."

"Yep, pretty much. Okay, we lost a couple of hours. Let's try again. We are going to start with auditory signals now. After having eye tics, I suspect the eyes need a rest."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The intensity of the day was almost too much, but Chase knew he had to keep going. They had been going on for hours, and each hour showed slight improvement. He was feeling less anxiety than when the day started, but his responses were still inconsistent. He was still having trouble getting over the negative images. His mind felt like swiss cheese, but so much was at stake here.

"Are you ready to try again?" House asked.

Chase nodded. Another deep breath; another attempt to maintain focus. Then, he heard the sound on the left, then the sound on the right. Left, right, left, right, left, right… All of a sudden, Althea was standing right next to him. She was again dressed in white and had her trademark soothing smile on her face. "Let go, Robert." she said. She touched his shoulder and he was overwhelmed by feelings of serene calm.

"Chase?" House asked. "Chase, snap out of it!" he yelled.

Chase was unresponsive. He was staring straight forward.

Cameron came over. "Did we lose him?" she asked House. "Chase, don't stop on us now. Please, talk to me." She slapped his cheek lightly a few times to see if that would get his attention.

"What do his vital signs look like?" House asked.

"Perfectly normal. Actually, this is the calmest he has been all day." replied Foreman.

Everyone nervously paced around for a few minutes quietly waiting for Chase to come around. They had seen this happen before in other patients, but it was never as frightening as it was now.

House realized he had waited long enough for action. "Foreman, hook him up to an EEG. Let's see if his brain waves tell us what type of fantasies are going through this skull."

"The EEG won't tell us much if he is hallucinating." replied Foreman.

"There are slight indicators." said House. "It's something. If anything we can prove there are no abnormalities."


	7. A Risky Procedure, Part 2

Cameron was beside herself in worry. She was willing to try anything. She got an idea and left the room. An hour later, she came in with an ipod. She put the headphones on a still motionless Chase.

"Let's see the playlist." House asked. She handed him the ipod and he examined the song list. He got a complete look of digust on his face. "This is all that new age relaxation crap. What do you want to do, turn him into a bigger whimp than he already is? Here, these are the songs he needs." He pulled his ipod out of his pocket and handed it to Cameron.

She looked at his playlist. "Peter Gabriel, Loretta Lynn, Motley Crue, Etta James, The White Stripes, Chick Corea, Otis Redding…Black Flag?"

"He needs something that's going to evoke every emotion possible. Black Flag covers the angry part." said House.

Cameron couldn't argue with that point and hooked up House's ipod to the headphones.

"Headphones?" said an appalled House. "You couldn't find a speaker dock so we could all jam together? I play a wicked air piano on 'Girls, Girls, Girls.' Never mind. I'm going to Wilson's. Let me know if there are any changes."

------------------------------------------------------------------

House entered Wilson's office. "You realize that you will be detected if you keep moving around like this. I should have gotten you your own VIP room." said Wilson.

"I own this hospital. Who would rat me out?"

Wilson flashed him another one of his 'get real' looks. "So you are just going to sit in here until something happens?"asked Wilson.

"Let's play our usual game of seeing who annoys who first."

"You win." replied Wilson. He could tell House was a little troubled by what was happening. "Thinking you pushed him too hard?"

"I push all of them too hard. How is this different?" House replied.

"It isn't. Chase is doing what he always has done when you push him too hard; retreat instead of fight back. Why did you think this time would be different?"

"That is why I find Chase the most frustrating of the three. There is no situation important enough where he stands up and becomes the person he is capable of being, no matter how hard I challenge him."

"Isn't that why his Dad insisted he work for you? He probably figured you were the only person that could force the best out of his son."

"He didn't live long enough to find out, and I'm not done yet. I just need to knock all that self doubt out of Chase."

"If he doesn't snap out of this I doubt you get your chance in the cozy confines of the rubber room. Maybe you'll have to admit you just couldn't break him." Wilson told House, realizing his friend might need that reality check.

"I know that he is trying to come through for me." House replied. "If he is really hallucinating, it could actually be his mind working out the details. I'd like to think of it as a computer rebooting itself."

"Computers start a lot quicker than this. He has been out for a couple of hours. You have to admit, the longer he is out, the more distant he is becoming with reality."

"He's Catholic. He was never about reality anyway."

"House…" Wilson said in a scolding tone.

"I know you think I'm doing all this to protect a so far failed mission, but in the end I do care what happens to Chase. I care about all of them. He has too much to offer be lost now. Is that what you needed to hear Mr. Touchy- Feely? There I said it."

Wilson just looked at House and smiled. He had to force House to admit he cared once in a while.

-------------------------------

Cameron sat in the corner of Chase's room nervously waiting. She kept staring at the unresponsive Chase with complete worry. She was scared that she might not get to talk with him again. Foreman entered the room and sat down next to her.

"You okay?" he asked, knowing the answer was no.

"What have we done to him? He has no one left to be here for him. I can't imagine how that must have felt, not having anyone to turn to at moments of great despair. We try to help, and we end up pushing him further into despair." Cameron replied with her voice quivering.

"He knows you are here. In times like these people learn who they can count on. I think you have surprised him by not leaving him alone. You could have always left him to fight this battle on his own in his apartment. Trust me he appreciates everything you have done."

"How long do you think we have before we send him to psych?" Cameron asked, scared that Foreman would give her the answer she already knew.

"We should have already. He has been out for four hours." Foreman replied.

"Normally this is the point where I take matters into my own hands and take the proper course of action. This time I'm too scared. I'm not being objective."

"None of us are being objective otherwise we wouldn't have done this at all. We will talk to House when he comes back and tell him it is time to give this up." Foreman assured her.

Cameron nodded as tears started to fall from her. Foreman was right, even though she couldn't bear the pain of giving up on Chase.

---------------------------------------------

"House!"

House cringed at the sound of that voice. He turned and gave the "oh damn" gesture to his overbearing boss. "You are supposed to be taking a few days off." House said to Cuddy.

"I keep my spies around. Even though you are out on medical leave, I knew you would likely take advantage of a few days off."

"I'm here to see Wilson. He is checking up on my well being while you are gone."

"You were spotted going into the room of one of Cameron's patients. One I have since found out is a VIP. You better not be here practicing medicine. You are officially on medical leave yourself."

"Old friend, thought I would say hello."

"I'm watching you. Wilson, take him home."

Cuddy left Wilson's office in a tizzy. "I think we better check in on that old friend." House told Wilson. They both left the office together, careful to not be seen.

House and Wilson entered Chase's room. "We have been found out. We don't have much time. Any new developments?" House asked Cameron and Foreman.

"Your ipod died." Cameron said handing him the player. "Other than that, nothing."

"Look House," said Foreman, "What you have been doing for Chase has been remarkable….

"Here it comes." House responded.

"…but he has been out for five hours. We can't do anything else for him. We need to get him up to psych right now."

"You can't send him up to psych. There's no telling what those hacks will do to him. They might make him worse."

"Well they can't do any worse than what we have done. Look at him!" jumped in Cameron.

"I just know that wherever his mind is right now, it's helping itself. We just need to give him more time."

"Face it House, we don't have anymore time." said Foreman.

"We had good intentions but we failed." Cameron added. "We were up against too much damage. They can take the proper amount of time upstairs and give him what he needs to go on."

"If he officially gets diagnosed with the deep level of post traumatic stress he's got they will never let him work as a doctor to his full capacity again. The best he could hope for is to end up being the strange man that puts band aids on boo-boos at the free clinic." House argued.

"At least he will have a mind to work with that is if it isn't already too late. I don't know if you can live with the guilt of permanently damaging the mind of someone close to us, but I won't be able to." Cameron pleaded, on the brink of tears.

"I've seen too many people put in the hands of traditional mental health only to come out with their needs neglected and in far worse shape than they were when they got there. These professionals are over worked and they don't care. They won't do for him what we can do. We can actually help. We just need a little more time. He will go on when he is ready." House argued.

Cameron and Foreman realized that they weren't going to with this round. "One more hour," said Foreman sternly to House, "and then I'm taking him to psych myself."

House stood there silently, hoping that Chase would come through for him. He walked over to the corner with a sad look and sat down. "Go take a break." he told Foreman, Cameron, and Wilson. "I'll wait this out with him."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

House sat in the room alone with Chase, staring pensively at him. "What could be going through that mind right now?" he thought. "Is he fighting or retreating?"

"Chase, everything I have said and done to you is so that you would be stronger." he said knowing that he likely wouldn't yield a response. "Now you must start showing that strength. We have a limited amount of time here."

"You don't have anymore time." Cuddy said as she walked in.

"Did Foreman get you?" House asked with intense hurt in his voice.

"No, but I had to beat the truth out of Cameron. Foreman caught me after that. Come on House, this has gone on long enough. Some one from psych will be down shortly to get him."

Cameron and Foreman walked into the room. House flashed them a look of disapproval.

"He's working this out. I know he is. Just give him more time. Sending him to psych will ruin everything he has worked for." House begged Cuddy.

"House, he has been in an unresponsive state for six hours." Cuddy replied. "This is now irresponsible. Psych needs to evaluate him now."

''No!" A voice from the other side of the room sternly said. "House must continue."

Every one quickly turned around, recognizing the Aussie accent that muttered those words.

"House needs to finish this now. This is my last chance." said a very alert Chase.

They all rushed over to him. There was a huge feeling of relief, but still tension over what to do next.

"Chase," Cuddy said, "you would be better off right now upstairs. They can treat you properly."

"No. I'm getting what I need here. Let House finish what he started."

"Chase," Cameron said, "you were in an unresponsive state for a long time. We can't risk that happening again."

"It won't happen again. I will guarantee that." he reassured her.

"How? We don't know for sure." Cameron replied.

"I know for sure. I will be fine."

He flashed both Cameron and House a pleading yet convincing stare. Everyone then stared quietly at Cuddy, waiting for the final verdict.

"Fine, I'll cancel psych for now. I didn't say who they were getting so no harm done." Then she pointed at House, "If you have one more complication, game over."

"Yes boss." House said, pretending to be scared as she left the room.

"Chase, what happened?" asked Cameron. "Can you remember anything?"

"Althea. She was here. She touched me and everything started feeling better. I was out for six hours? It felt like only a few minutes."

Cameron and House looked at each other. They weren't sure if it was wise to continue after such a vivid and lengthy hallucination.

"I'm ready to finish this." Chase said in a determined voice. "I feel great. I don't feel sick inside anymore. I haven't felt this way since I was a child."

"Chase, for all practical purposes, you were seeing ghosts. I think we have pushed you too far." replied House.

"No, you haven't. If anything, you finally pushed me where I needed to go. I know I can finish this quickly. We are almost there."

House looked at Chase carefully. He had to admit, he looked different. There was something in his expression that indicated this time that he would be alright. "Okay, we'll go on. Take a few seconds to focus."

Chase took a deep breath, and then he got a very puzzled look on his face like he was trying to remember something.

"What is it?" asked an alarmed Cameron.

"Oh. It's nothing." Chase said. "I have a song in my head that I can't get rid of. I'm trying to think of who does it. I could swear it is Black Flag."

Everyone broke out in laughter. Chase was puzzled by the reaction but pleased that everyone was so amused.

"Okay Chase." House said still smiling. "Listen for the alternating sounds."

Chase focused on the image that had been haunting him for so long for the umpteenth time today. The sight wasn't bothering him anymore. 30 seconds then passed by as Chase focused on the alternating tones. He was extremely calm. "Okay, clear your mind." instructed House. Chase sat there peacefully and very content showing no signs of distress. House cracked a small, relieved smile. "Congratulations Chase, we can move onto the next step. Take a moment to think of the positive belief about yourself we discussed. I'll start the sounds again."


	8. The End and The Beginning

House, Wilson, and Cameron slowly rolled into House's office. They were completely spent, yet still feeling intense relief.

"Is there no way out of the mind?" House quoted. "Sylvia Plath was crazy as a loon when she wrote that. I guess insanity isn't all that bad. Do you think we can change Chase back? Nah, he doesn't seem like the poetic type to me."

"How are we going to address the last two phases, closure and reevaluation?" asked Cameron.

"I have a friend that specializes in alternative therapies." said Wilson. "She isn't well practiced in EMDR, but she is willing to help finish what we started. She is also very skilled with meditation and other relaxation techniques. With her type of practice she can easily protect the identity of her clients."

Cameron sat down with utter exhaustion. "That has to be one of the most intense experiences of my life. In the end, we will never know what really happened."

"He responded to our treatment, that is what happened." replied House.

"I read the case studies too." Cameron continued. "EMDR works better in an empathic environment. You think it is a coincidence that Althea played a role?"

"How did she play a role? She is dead. Chase was able to trigger a self soothing memory. The exercises probably helped him do that."

"Many empaths and psychics believe that people leave traces of their spirit behind when they are gone. It allows people to continue feeling their energy. For whatever reason, she played her part in healing him emotionally. Come on even you don't know why EMDR works. It is one of those mysteries with the mind that cannot be explained."

"You are putting too much stock into emotional healing. What EMDR likely does is trick the mind. The touchy feely stuff is all the crap that usually gets in the way of fixing the real problem."

"Too bad Chase isn't here. He could really confuse this discussion next by throwing in his God and faith stuff. You know the simple minded crap that really pisses you off."

"Yeah, well luckily we have been spared of that. Now, go see Cuddy and let her know your VIP will be discharged late this evening." House ordered Cameron. "That is the best time for him to leave undetected."

Cameron smiled while leaving, knowing that when House ends a debate, he doesn't have anything to come back with.

Wilson sat down where Cameron was sitting. He flashed a smirk like he caught House doing one of his little tricks.

"What, are you going to start now?" House asked.

"Nice bluff there. How brilliant to use my professional connection with Chase's father to trick Chase into admitting his mother's suicide. Since we both know that Rowan told me no such family secret, how did you figure it out?" Wilson asked.

"What it wasn't obvious to you?" House replied.

"Chase has always been a huge mystery to you, which is why you likely hired him. You have never been able to figure him out until now. I should be surprised it was obvious to you but then again nothing you do surprises me."

"As usual, it was a hunch. What's wrong with letting Chase think his father actually cared? His father did care anyway. They just share the same pathological dysfunction for secrecy."

"I know how you are thinking that you have fixed a huge rift in the Chase family dynamic, but you are glossing over one very important fact. Chase and his parents had a very screwed up relationship and now he is scarred for life. Try curing that. Being scarred for life is something you should know about."

House sat silently to ponder that comment as Wilson left.

--------------------------------------

Cameron hadn't seen Chase in a few days. It had been over a week since he had left the hospital and she had been checking in daily, but he had an important preoccupation over the last few days. She knocked on his door.

Chase opened the door and flashed a beautiful smile. "Wow, you look great." he said as he let her in.

"I should say the same." Cameron replied with a complimentary smile. Boy, he did look great. His eyes sparkled so brightly and the glow on his face reminded Cameron of when she first saw him with a patient. He always saved his warm and gentle demeanor for the patients. That look had been gone for so long and Cameron didn't realize for how long until now. It wasn't just his expression though. He was dressed in a traditional black suit with a clear crisp white shirt and a lovely but simple dark black tie. She had to admit, he looked amazing in black.

Cameron didn't look like a slouch either. She wore a lovely long sleeveless black dress that accented her thin frame perfectly. Her hair was tied back in a elegant black bow and she wore a delicate old-fashioned pendant that she had since she was a child. Chase couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"So, you managed to throw all he arrangements together in just two days?" Cameron asked.

"Yes, lucky for me everything came together." replied Chase. "It will be a very simple service, just the Rite of Committal at the cemetery. I didn't have to do too much."

"How did you manage to get the sisters at St. Mary's to do this?"

"Part of my usual donation goes toward their fund for proper burials of those abandoned. They couldn't refuse my request."

"No, what I meant was on Althea's chart nothing was checked for religious affiliation."

"Really? When I checked the chart I could have sworn she marked Catholic." Chase said as he flashed a deceptive smile.

"I don't think I did hear the entire story about Althea's sister." Cameron inquired.

"She is in a nursing home and hadn't seen Althea in years. Nobody knew what happened to her. Anyway, she wasn't about to come and claim her. She didn't have the money and decided the State should have her."

"Did you ask her about her sister's abilities?"

"She did tell me that Althea was different. No one in her family though believed her empath mumbo jumbo. Before they lost touch, Althea told her sister that she spent her time isolated from others because she was too emotionally connected. It drained her. Her sister seemed to think she was just a weird recluse and not quite right."

"So she willingly let you have Althea's body?"

"All it took was a signature. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

-----------------------------------

_The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. _

_He makes me lie down in green pastures,  
he leads me beside quiet waters, __he restores my soul.  
_

_He guides me in paths of righteousness  
for his name's sake. _

_Even though I walk  
through the valley of the shadow of death,_

_I will fear no evil,  
for you are with me;  
your rod and your staff,  
they comfort me. _

_You prepare a table before me  
in the presence of my enemies.  
You anoint my head with oil;  
my cup overflows. _

_Surely goodness and love will follow me __all the days of my life,  
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever._

Chase read those words from Psalm 23 from an old worn bible that has been his comfort and salvation for years. It was his private bible, but he knew it was worthy of words for someone who saved him. His audience at the grave site was Cameron, the priest, and a dozen nuns.

_Almighty God, through the death of your Son on the cross, you have overcome death for us. Through his burial and resurrection from the dead you have made the grave a holy place and restored us to eternal life. We pray for those who died believing in Jesus and are buried with him in the hope of rising again. God of the living and the dead, may those who faithfully believed in you on earth praise you for ever in the joy of heaven. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen._

As the priest delivered the prayer to conclude the Rite of Committal, Chase got very emotional and let a few small tears slide down his face. Cameron grabbed his hand in support, and he smiled at her in appreciation. A few nuns offered a "God Bless You, Robert" after the service concluded. Chase and Cameron then walked away together hand in hand in silence.

Chase took a couple deep breaths to gain his composure after the touching service. He was pleased that Althea was laid to rest with proper blessings and that he could be there to commemorate her passage to the beyond.

"Are you okay?" Cameron asked. Chase had been through so much lately, a funeral couldn't be doing much good for him.

"Believe it or not, I'm actually great." Chase replied. "I'm sad, but not overwhelmed with guilt and remorse. This is the first time I have ever felt this way. I'm just feeling the sadness of the moment and I'm not afraid."

Cameron was rather touched. "Want to get some lunch?" she asked.

"That would be great." Chase replied with a smile.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Althea would have been so pleased to see you come this far so quickly. I got the impression she was really scared for you." Cameron said as they enjoyed a quiet lunch in a nearby cozy café.

"She was the first person to ever notice and care. Lucky for me, she wasn't the last." He squeezed Cameron's hand and gave her a sincere look of "thank you".

"Chase thanks, but it wasn't just me. You may not see this but House really does care. I know he is insulting and is really hard on you, but he got very scared when you had your breakdown. His true intentions were to save you and not try something reckless because he could."

"What House did was amazing and I will always be grateful. I don't have to tell him my gratitude though because he doesn't need to hear it. He wasn't there holding my hand or giving me emotional support when I most needed it. You were. That means more than you will ever know."

Chase looked deeply into Cameron's eyes with a look of intense sincerity. She had never seen that look before. For the first time, she felt like she was seeing the real Robert Chase.

"You even cared enough to drag me out of my apartment in an ambulance." Chase continued with a pleased smile. "That took some guts."

"House told me to do that."

"You never blindly do what House wants you to do. You did it because you cared."

Cameron looked deeply into his eyes. "Yes." she replied.

Chase shyly smiled back at her reply. He felt her could trust her now more than ever. "As you can imagine, I have been doing quite a bit of soul searching this week. I'm having trouble accepting everything that happened."

"Why are you having trouble?" Cameron asked rather surprised.

"I have been convinced for years that God had given up on me. Each day I see signs that remind me of his existence but he never seemed to be there when I needed him. That is the main reason why I left the seminary. I have never been able to understand why he helped others but turned his back on me. I was someone who wanted to serve him.

Anyway, I'm still trying to make sense as to why he sent Althea to me now instead of years ago. Maybe she had to be here at a point where all the right circumstances came together. No matter what, she was a gift from God. I so want to give thanks, but I still have to question why now?"

"You know I'm no expert when it comes to God." Cameron replied.

"There isn't much difference between you and me when you think of it. We both have been rather agnostic since we have been working together. The difference is in our core beliefs. You aren't sure of God's existence, where I question God's motives. Either way, we have doubts."

"Come on, you are so much stronger in your faith."

"No, I haven't been. I am well educated with Christianity, but I have had trouble for a long time actually believing what I have been taught. This experience has given me a long needed sign, but I'm still looking for answers. God and I aren't completely okay, but we are getting better."

In the matters of religion, Cameron actually didn't have much to add. However, Chase was opening up to her, and that was a first for both of them. "God and I aren't okay either if it is any consolation. I'm pleased that you feel you can share this with me." she said.

"Allison," he said as he grabbed her hand, "I'm not going to be able to change my ways very easily. I'm still going to be bad at asking for help and actually sharing myself with someone, but for the first time in my life I'm willing to try. I hope that you don't mind me trying with you."

Cameron was very moved by his words. Her eyes started to well up a bit. "Yes, Robert, I don't mind. Just remember I'm not very open either."

"I know. It is like I said earlier you and I are more alike than you think."

Cameron paused for a minute with a soft sweet smile on her face. She wasn't sure exactly what was happening here, but she liked it. She continued to swoon as Chase looked at her with those gorgeous blue eyes. "You left the seminary because you questioned God? House, Foreman and I always thought it was because you liked women."

Chase laughed at her comment. "Yes, I guess there was that reason too. When a few of the nuns started looking pretty hot, I knew I was in trouble."

They both paused to share a big laugh. "Yeah, well lucky for us that did happen. You are a very gifted doctor. Don't let anyone, especially House, tell you otherwise." Cameron said.

"There is one thing I have definitely learned about myself and my life this week."

"What is that?" asked Cameron.

Chase squeezed her hand. "God does want this for me."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to thank everyone who has followed me through this long process of what started out to be a simple story about Chase treating an empath. It evolved in ways I never imagined when I first started this. The response has been amazing and I'm floored that this story has been so well received. **

**I have had the idea for months but wanted to want until the season ended to make sure I had my continuity down. **

**Thank you everyone for your comments and taking your precious time to read this story. I'm sad, yet very relieved that I'm finally finished. I can now get back to my life. If you haven't posted any reviews yet, I would appreciate to know any comments you might have. Thanks!**


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